ATTENDANCE:
Ivan reported 5 apologies, Geoff Austin, Marie Austin, Katrina Donaldson, Gary Phillips, Jacque Phillips.
5 guests.
20 in attendance 66.66%
NEXT MEETING
DATE: MONDAY 31st AUGUST 2020
VENUE: ONLINE ZOOM MEETING
CHAIR: SALLY ROSE
APOLOGIES:
Ivan Routley
Phone: 0428 646 228
TO FINISH WITH A SMILE
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having
a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine. “I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said. “No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in
our wall.”
BONUS JOKE courtesy Phil Seager:
HARD WORK...
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner where a shoe shine is always located.
He sits on the couch, examines the Wall Street Journal, and the shoe shine gives his shoes a shiny, excellent look.
One morning the shoeshiner asks the CEO:
- What do you think about the situation in the stock market?
The CEO asks in turn arrogantly:
- Why are you so interested in that - that topic?
"I have a million dollars in your bank," the shoeshiner says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."
- What your name? –Asks the CEO.
- John H. Smith
The CEO arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Customer Service Department:
- Do we have a client named John H. Smith?
- Certainly –answers the Customer Service Manager–, he is a highly esteemed customer. He has a million dollars in his account.
The CEO comes out, approaches the shoeshiner, and says:
- Mr. Smith, I ask you this coming Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we will have something to learn from you.
At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members:
- We all know Mr. Smith, who makes our shoes shine in the corner; But Mr. Smith is also our esteemed customer with a million dollars in his account. I invited him to tell us the story of his life.
I am sure we can learn from him.
Mr. Smith began his story:
- I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny.
The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail.
Suddenly I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple.
I had two options: eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for two dollars and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business.
When I started accumulating dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes. I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and ointments in different shades and expanded my clientele.
I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny. After a while I was able to buy an armchair so that my clients could sit comfortably while cleaning their shoes, and that brought me more clients.
I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every penny. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shine on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place.
Finally, three months ago, my sister, who was a high-priced whore in Chicago, passed away and left me a million dollars.
